My husband and I just reached a milestone of 5 years of marriage in August. Woo Hoo!! We’ve dated longer than we’ve been married, but that’s another story. We are definitely opposites and have helped each other to grow in different capacities. Even though it’s been a short time we’ve sure had our tests and trials. At any rate, we are still together by the grace of God and willing to stay committed. With that being said, I have some tips I want to share to help you maintain a healthy marriage. For my single sisters take notes too.
1. Remain Faithful in the Marriage
Remember the vows you took before God. Let me give you a scripture. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” People will test you and disguise themselves as being friendly and just try to help themselves to you. Ladies and gentlemen beware! Some people will know that you’re married and still flirt and try to approach. Don’t let their looks or what they say they can do fool you. Check out some more spiritual tips from my friend Keshia on her blog here. What God has joined together let no man put asunder.
2. Effective Communication
- Pray
- Don’t assume anything
- Don’t shut down (the problem will still be there until you discuss it)
- Express yourself and communicate your needs
- Learn each other’s love language
- Listen attentively
- Eventhough you may be right, try to see things from the spouse’s perspective
- Speak life over your marriage (positive affirmations)
I talk about communication in a detailed post titled, “6 Best Communication Methods for Healthy Marriages.” Check it out here.
3. Laugh Frequently
A healthy marriage needs laughter. Laughter is like medicine the Bible says. My husband and I laugh at each other all the time. It keeps things fun. We laughed so hard just the other day. He wanted us to play kickball. He found my method of kicking funny and imitated me then fell right afterward. Now we both died laughing at that!
4. Do Thoughtful Things
I think all ladies love flowers. It’s even better when he gets you the kind you like. It makes you feel special. Now ladies, don’t forget about your mate. If he likes a particular meal that you make, surprise him with his favorite dish. Being thoughtful shows that you’re paying attention and really care. Do thoughtful things often.
5. Keep the Fire Going
You may be married, but you need to think of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend at times. You know when y’all used to date, flirt, and couldn’t wait to talk on the phone or see each other in person. Keep that same energy. Send random text messages to your mate to let them know you’re thinking about them while they’re at work, out of town, etc. Keep it hot! It’s definitely needed for a healthy marriage.
6. Travel Together
Traveling together allows you to be in a new environment and creates an exciting new experience that will last a lifetime. I didn’t say exotic travel, so that does include local travel too. Try some local areas that you both have never visited.
7. Support Each Other
This is definitely the era of side hustles and becoming debt-free! I see you ladies have your Paparazzi business, natural oils, blogs, etc. It feels great when you know you have someone rooting for you, encouraging you, and wanting you to succeed. What’s even better is if you create a business together. I’m so inspired by this young Black couple on Instagram called The Hartrimony. They’ve been on the news and spoke on Erica Campbell’s radio show too. Learn more about them below.
Now with that being said, support your spouse. You can do that by being present with them, encouraging them, celebrating their journey, complimenting them, or participating with them. Shout out to my husband. He assists me with events, takes my photos, and comments on the blog. On the flip side, if your companion has fitness goals and you don’t, you can buy water to keep him hydrated while he’s exercising. That’s still supporting.
8. Celebrate Each Other
Celebrating each other is a way to show appreciation. Celebrate graduations, new jobs, promotions, weight loss, business ventures whether it’s saying “Congratulations”, “I’m proud of you”, or with a gift. Imagine being in a marriage where you have important dates or milestones and y’all do the same thing all the time. Where’s the excitement? Be creative and celebrate your spouse. Here’s what I did for hubby’s birthday this year in January below.
9. Go Back to the Beginning
It doesn’t hurt to go down memory lane. Occasionally my husband and I will go riding in the old neighborhood where we started dating. That just brings back great memories and happy feelings.
When angry with that spouse and want to give up, think of those things that made you want to be with the person to begin with. I’ve written down things that I like about my husband when he really pissed me off. At first, I couldn’t think of one thing because I was so mad, then slowly different characteristics came to my mind. So crank up your car and visit memory lane in person or in your mind.